Homeless and dependant on my Wheelchair Service Dog Penny (trained as a Mobility & Stability Assistance Animal and Therapy Dog with a natural compassion for those who suffer from Depression & PTSD) to get around, but in mid 2017, she began having difficulty breathing and cooling herself when pulling my wheelchair, becoming incoherent, not hearing commands and tripping over things. She constantly awoke choking & gasping for air as she drowned in refluxed acid and saliva aspirated deep into her lungs, burning them, slowly killing her. She simply couldn't breath or cool herself off and a recent fall from a poorly built wheelchair ramp at Options, in Springfield, severely injured her hips and completely ruptured her left knee ACL, crippling her, putting an end to her Career as my Wheelchair Service Dog. Their Insurance Company, Sedgwick refused to do anything to help her recover (May 2020) so we had to raise at least $6,000.00 on our own to get her surgery. Around January 2018, Pro Bone-O staff refused to help my Miss Penny stating, "She's not worth the cost of the tests she needs." A common response of Animal Help Organizations and many others is to decline help with even a little because of the surgery high costs, deciding because she is unlikely to get all the funding, why help at all. So we asked for help from anyone who thaught she was worth it. And you did, so we received a wondrous gift of time. She'd run so fast around me with a huge smile and glancing at me, showing me how strong she was (something she loved to do). And that strut of her's when working. So beautiful.

    The problem was far worse than originally thought. With the financial donations and assistance from so many Loving and Caring People we were able to get the tests needed to accurately identify symptoms of an idiopathic problem making her so sick, at a cost of more than $20,000, and a reasonable prognosis to resolve the lethal potential of her condition. Miss Penny continued getting worse. Her surgeries were scheduled for January 16, 2020, but an emergency made it impossible for the Orthopedic team to combine their skills with Dr. Townsend (to save money) so again the surgeries were rescheduled for April 29, 2020. A blessing because on January 23, 2020, just 7 days later, Miss Penny suffered a stroke like seizure 2 hours after being administered Amoxicillin for an unexplained fever and listlessness. She was returned to OSU where she was placed in ICU for 4 days and stabilized while getting another ultrasound, more x-rays and an MRI that found a very large Meningioma Tumor crushing the right side of her brain stem. The surgery funds were consumed by this latest health issue ($5,500.00 over 7 days). She was prescribed meds [Prednisone 20 mg daily] to reduce swelling (edema) in her brain. Worst of all, if she hadn't missed her surgery she would have died from the seizure on the 23^rd. Clearly fate was in her favor.

    A consult with OSU Oncology made things clear Miss Penny was faced with only days or weeks left unless she got radiation treatments immediately at WSU or CSU. It took a month for Penny to recover to even go out on Fund Raisers. On March 2, 2020. we drove to WSU in Washington State on a 2 day, 1,054.2 mile pilgrimage (2 more trips were made) for her Consult with their Oncology Staff, March 3, 2020, 1:30 pm. Another $6,000.00 for Radiation Treatments of which we put out another $1,500.00 in medical expenses to map out a strategy to radiate the tumor and traveling expenses. Wiping us out financially only to be evicted from our "Willamette St. Campsite" by our landlord, when we returned. The whole COVID-19 Pandemic Plague has made relocating or even fund raising impossible.

    We had scheduled Miss Penny for radiation treatments for April 7, 2020. Unfortunately she was getting worse as the tumor grew, so on March 17, 2020, we left for WSU so she could begin the radiation treatments immediately, beginning March 18, 2020, 5 days later the Governor shut down the State of Washington and closed the Schools, but Penny was locked in. Fate had blessed her again. Dr. Fidel was hopeful that some of her symptoms like the Lar-Par and possibly the reflux may resolve if we can stop the tumor. But we shall see. A friend put up the $2,200.00 and I sold my riding mower for enough to pay the deposit ($2,500) demanded to start treatments. A very dear admirer of Miss Penny’s, Ms. Joelle, donated $3,000.00, so Miss Penny could get her radiation treatments. I understand desperation closely but I don’t understand the loving mercy and generosity of those guided by God to expand my understanding that he cares about even the little creatures we love, especially when I’ve lost hope in the difficulty of the struggle. Thank you so very much Miss J. “www.FrankiesFriends.org”, contributed $995.00 for Miss Penny’s last 5 treatments.

    I got her back safely, April 10, 2020, after her final 18^th Radiation Treatment and she forgave me for abandoning her there. She remains slightly paralyzed on her right side and deaf after radiation treatments cooked her eardrums. She was scheduled for follow up with OSU Oncology July 10, 2020, for an MRI to confirm the tumor is dead and gone and check her hearing, but because we owed $1,214.28 (from her Hospitalization Jan 24^th-30^th) and couldn't raise funds due to lock downs and social distancing restrictions she hasn't been able to get further Cancer Care. Fortunately a loving "Follower" offered to pay the outstanding debt OSU had turned over for collection, in honor of her husband, who loved Miss Penny, and had just died from brain cancer, so we could continue getting medical care for her.

    After a recent biopsy and x-rays of her hips December 10, Miss Penny suffered complications of paralysis of her rear right leg. Several days later she fell going out the trailer door and after helping her up she stumbled and limped out through our slimy mud swamp in front of our little trailer, across the trench to her grassy spot where she collapsed on her side after her potty. She looked at me and pleaded for help. I rushed through the mud and carried her back to the trailer with great difficulty, where she limped back to the bed to be lifted up. I knew time was running out. The next day I contacted OSU Veterinary Hospital for a CT Scan of her leg & back that will cost $1,200.00, scheduled for December 28, 2020 and WSU Neurology Dept for an MRI, authorized for January 21, 2021, at a cost of $3,200.00, so our current goal was to raise the $4,400.00 as well as the $7,000.00 for additional radiation treatments while we were there. Just another $12,000.00 needed to be raised by January 21, 2021.

    The Plague of 2020 changed everything for us all. The surgeries were no longer a priority but these new tests took precedence and of course the follow up MRI or even a CT Scan and more Radiation Treatments as soon as we could raise the funds, but we were months too late and the problem was spreading.

      I began seeing symptoms returning of the "red eye" (suggestive of pressure increase in her brain), disorientation, weakness in right rear leg, her left front leg limping and her left vocal cord was failing making it clear we were running out of time. Dr. Jones proposed increasing her Prednisone another 10 mg and doubling her pain meds. The x-rays and biopsy results showed her back was severe and her body was turning her skin on her back end to calcium (bone) along with her spine over calcification triggered by the Prednisone, aggravated by repeated falls into the trench which the Landlord ("Manyhands") refused to cover, in spite of begging him. Only recently has he declared his intent to leave the trench open and all access left muddy, trapping us, making it impossible to safely get around or use my wheelchair. Within a week her right rear leg was partially paralyzed and by Christmas week she was mostly paralyzed on her right and now her left, unable to walk without her toes curled under, wasn't eating or drinking and slightly moaning in pain during the night. I had to hold her belly in a cradle and spread her rear legs for her so she could potty and poo because she couldn't support her own weight any longer. On Dec 22, I returned to find her laying in her poo unable to move so I cleaned her off and wrapped her up in her favorite blanket on her pillow and gently kissed her on her snout and forehead. I was able to slip her a couple pain meds in a piece of fruit bar, but that was all she would accept so I couldn't get her to take the Prednisone or water. The pressure in her skull increased overnight paralyzing her even more. I called her Vet, fearful it would possibly be her last appointment. Instantly plagued with regrets I hadn't done enough or was too tough on her, I checked back on her in the shed and lay down with her to snuggle while gently caressing her silky soft ears and massaged her neck which she instantly responded to with sighs of relief. I pleaded with her to hang in there and not to leave me all alone yet, that I needed her still and we were a pack, and that I loved her. She looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes as if to say "I know".

    Whether it was the 6 falls into an open trench left by our landlord's contractor for 3 months which injured her old herniated discs or the tumor spreading in her brain, she had reached her limit physically from the recent traumas to endure the time we needed to raise the funds. Dr. Jones, at Amazon Park Veterinary Clinic, checked her the evening of December 23, 2020, so after discussing optional possible strategies it appeared to be time to let go. When the Doc brought her back out to the truck I noticed she was sedated, so Dr. Jones explained she had seen me leave the operating room when they were attempting to place a catheter in her leg for the injection, so she struggled to get up to follow me and not be left behind, so he had to tranquilize her to calm her and ease her pain.

    Miss Penny died in our Truck at 05:00pm, by a lethal injection of 'pentobarbital', in her seat, her head in my arms and tears with cries of longing for more time and my heart broke yet again. Our journey together had come to an end with different paths, her's a heavenly one leaving her failing body behind while mine an earthly one continuing to struggle repairing my broken body and now my heart overwhelmed with grief. All the medical care you all gave us gave us 11 or more months of additional time to learn more about love and devotion and survival as a 'pack' / as 'friends', but also a sensitivity to compassion, humility, devotion, honor and integrity, gifts all of you have helped me discover in her struggles. More than 10,000 people have donated more than $36,450.74 to Help her get better, so that makes all of you (the Eugene Community) part of our 'Pack'. She loved her tummy tickled in the morning when she woke up. I'll miss that and much more, even her rawhide farts, 'ewuuuuu', 'Wow'. I can't express how grateful and honored I am to have shared our tragedy & hopes with all of you. I hope none of you will think your donations were wasted because she died.

    She would look up at me with an admiration and eagerness to fill her purpose to pull my wheelchair then she became my purpose to save her from the cancer. She would dance for joy though, when it came time to leave for camp after a long day of 'Fund Raising'. I understand her loss now and why she eagerly looked forward to at least walking along the side of my chair again, but I was hearing her dragging her toenails more and more.

    It’s truly difficult being old, disabled and stuck in a wheelchair for years when I want and need to do something more for her, but it starts by gradually getting out of it and my legs are still so week from the long years.  What a beautiful gift she has been to my life. Thank you so much for the beautiful gift of ‘more time’ with her. I am already lost without her. The loneliness of a 'broken heart' is a piece of the 'way of life' but she has suffered too long now from the 'way of death', so regardless of the pain of letting go with the 'way of love' her breath (spirit) has returned to God who gave it.